Bz
tHoUgHtS & kISSeS
This is my world. BZ's world
My loudspeaker.
An outlet for my emotions.
bZ’s “I’m not a nincompoop” project I realized that you are not who you are in No paper = no future? I used to argue with people, saying that with qualifications doesn’t mean everything – it doesn’t equate with your personalities, your beliefs and your ambitions. I was rudely proven wrong by all the high-flyers’ events I went to…how to continue the conversation when short awkward silences came promptly after my self-introduction? You saw how people here talk non-stop about the branded schools they came from. It doesn’t help the situation that I’m a babbling nervous wreck with strangers and I’m lousy with my spoken English. Job fairs I went to asked me which institutions I went to and not the grades I had. Employers never looked at my academic script at all. In the end, I’m just a loser in their eyes like others as I didn’t manage to get a degree in the local universities (I’ve got a feeling it doesn’t matter to them what degree the employee is having as long as it is a degree). People ask me why I chose to go to a polytechnic then to go private universities after my A-Levels. Why didn’t I go overseas since I passed my A Levels? Reasons are simple – I can’t afford the money and I didn’t want to obtain a private degree. Am I stupid just because I can’t get into universities? Am I not capable because I am not an undergrad? Yes, I may not be good in many things but that doesn’t mean that any other undergrads are better than me. I gave advices to my university friend for his assignments and helped him to correct his grammar. Stupid? Yeah right. Don’t brain-wash me into lowering my self-esteem. I may have fallen off the track now but that doesn’t mean I won’t be up again. Do I really need a university degree to be successful in life? I would really like to prove this wrong. After all, conventional wisdom is NOT the absolute truth. I know my life ahead would be tough but I will strive on. I will try to improve myself in areas that I’m weak in, be it personality or skills. I will break away the restrictions and boundaries that are trapping me. I am bZ. (geez, if only I’m that confident most of the time) Well, referring to the title, I have decided to write articles like I used to do in JC every week. I shall set Sunday night as the day to post my articles on anything that caught my interests. I admit that I’m not an avid reader of the current affairs, so if you want to enlighten me with your knowledge, please drop a mail to bz@bzbzilla.com . In addition, if I violated any rules of the English grammar, please tell me too as I learnt my English through trial and error (don’t ask my opinion about education – that would be a whole new post). If anything, I’m serious about learning. (Not route-learning though, I had more than ten years of that.)
Sorry people, didn't write article by today 'cause this morning I had tummyache (I suspected it was last night's lemon tea) and now I having wobbly legs. Will update soon!!
Argh...
Was down with a slight tummyache today. I suspect it was the home-made lemon tea I had last night.
bZ: "Eh, the lemon tea taste funny. Is it spoilt?"
Emi (after a sip): "No lah, just that it had too much lemon taste in it." Giving a "yucky" look at me.
Moral of the story: If you think something or someone is bad or rotten and the whole world doesn't see it that way, just trust your instinct.
________
Sidenote:
I'm here to test it out...
Create your own visitor map!
However, I really missed this place here. No other sites can replace this place as this is where I could really say what I want without the obvious scrutiny of others. I hiding under the cloak of anonymity here (not a complete one, alas, as I have told my identity to several friends and associates) and I will not bothered by how I looked in the pictures here as there isn't any here to start with.
So this techno-idiot have been straying lately, trying out with other sites but with a trial and error, I managed to log on without a google email account (I dunno how exactly but it's not really bothering me though).
Ar.. I just love it here... I write like a bimbo in other blogs.. Really dunno why. Perhaps beacause my pictures were up in other blogs?
Vanity makes you dumb because you are too preoccupied with narcissism .
~bz
I cant think of anything to write for my bio.
How can I write something so positive when even I myself doubt myself?
How can I write something positive when everyone else doubt you?
"Why did you choose her? Because of her age?"
I cant write anything that will be judged or even being ridiculed at.
I cant help being cynical -- because I've lost faith in those I know.
You dunno how much it hurts.
I've lost the power to believe.
I thought better of people and I guessed I've learn otherwise.
I dunno why I simply cant put it down. Perhaps because it just keeps pilling up.
I need someone to show me the light at the end of the tunnel.
To hold my hand and keep me close.
To believe in what others doubt.
Oh my god, I almost forgot both my username & password!
That shows how long I haven't been updating.
Well, updates:
- ALBT have not got me the sewing machine. Everyone please remind(nag) him ya?
- My Jan and Feb schedules are all so tight... with MAJOR projects (Wish me luck ;) )
- Busy but happily designing some designs and ppt for a project.. I think i really like to do design
I went for a palm reading in school this afternoon during my lunch break. Yup, you heard it right, in school cos we having a bazaar now (again -.-).
Curious?
I asked about my Career and Love Life. $10 for two topics. I actually wanted to share the cost with my friend by asking one topic each but the shifu dun allow wor, say discount le.. So I shun bian ask about my Love life loh..
The first sentence he said aft reading my palm: "You are a Nu Qiang Ren (erm.. dunno how to translate, strong woman??ha)." He said I'm a leader in life and I shouldn't stay in the shadows. He said I'm too strong as a woman and he advised me to get a strong man for my love life. Hen-pecked husband will only result in marriage failure for me in the future (he said it seriously wor). He said I'm too stubborn and I need to listen to others to advance further in life. He said I'll do good in business and I should be a major stakeholder in whatever business I'm in.
In addition, he said my man should be financially strong because I love to enjoy life (eat, drink, play and be merry alot)..hoho..
On top of that, he said" Dun mind me, but you are a sexy woman and you should get a sexy man." !!! Sexy as in appearance or sexual in nature?? Omg.. haha..
He asked for my bday and ALBT's bday. He said we are compatible but he is too stubborn too.
He wrote his conclusion behind his namecard and this is what he wrote:
"Marry a strong or sexy man"
"Be a leader & be a PUSSYCAT in love"
Miao.
Hmm.. my bday is round the corner and I havent finish my guestlist nor prepared my bday-cum-house warming party.
But I've came up with a list of things I wanted:
- Sakura sewing machine Model 2028
(ALBT says he'll buy for me. Super dl w my parents who threw away the ancient sewing machine -- i could trade in and get the SM at almost half the price.. Grr..)
- Glue gun
(I've told everyone i wanted that last year but I guess everyone thinks I'm kidding them.)
- Badge maker --> with refills too
(so I can make DIY "BZ" badges in different colours and hang them on my bag)
- The wooden figurine that artists always uses (medium -sized)
(so that I can decorate my room and POSES as an artist)
- Clothes hanger (the long wooden brown kind where the western detectives always throw their hats and jackets onto... not the kind you find in your cupboard)
- Cluedo (I only want the wooden box version)
- Jenga (truth or dare version)
- Huge range of Art materials
- Towels (tt's soft, white, fluffy and absorbing --> sounds like something else)
- Intruder system ("Electrifies" anyone who enters my room when I'm not around, esp my mum.. Just joking)
I'll update the list... If i think of anything more.
Last Sunday, ALBT and I went for the 14km Tree Top Hike with some other volunteers. Suprised? Shocked? I'm so pleased with myself that I didn't chicken out at the last minute.
For most of the time, I either see avid runners or ang mohs there. Hmm.. I think ang mohs like nature better than us. Lol.
I was doing fine first half of the hike. Really. Seriously. Brisk-walked til the ranger station with ALBT. I have no qualms about walking. But the second half of the hike started with climbing slopes and stairs. Ha. I absolutely hate climbing slopes and stairs. Especially the slopes. Must be the inertia.
Lots of slippery and muddy path during the hike, which I almost tripped and fell over some twigs or rocks. Despite seeing me being obviously unstable in my walking, ALBT kept asking me to turn around and smile while I walk. I guess he wants to get rid of me by letting me fall into the "jungle". Ha.
Silly ALBT kept refering the hike to MapleStory. "We're in Elinia now," when we're just started to walk into the vegetations. "Hmm.. Slime Park,"when we saw "Sime Park". "We're in the Henesys now,"when we reached the roads. " Blah Blah blah.. He's obssessed with MS. Haha.
"Can we go hiking again?" I asked ALBT as we finished the hike. I'm so happy with myself for finishing this hike as I've not been exercising for a long long time. Guess what Mr. ALBT said???
.
.
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"I like to hike in urban areas better. I like to see buildings" -.-
